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Depressed Men Gone: The Open Door

by John Folk-Williams 247 Comments

Many women write here of the baffling strangers their depressed husbands or partners have become. Most often, they describe one of two versions of the unrecognizable men they’ve been trying to live with. One turns on his partner, blames her for the pain he feels, acts abusively and then leaves, convinced that getting away from […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: depression, leaving, men, partner, thinking

Why Depressed Men Leave – 3

by John Folk-Williams 130 Comments

I’ve written a lot about the form of depression in which men look outside themselves to find the cause for an inner pain that simply can’t be faced. They may feel anger, rage, a longing to act out fantasies, or a compulsion to blame and abuse those closest to them. That side of depression is […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Isolation, Men and Depression, Reconnecting Tagged With: blame, emotion, emotional abuse, family, leaving, withdrawal, work

Why Depressed Men Leave – 2

by John Folk-Williams 60 Comments

Some of the comments on the last post in this series hit hard on two issues. First is the question of personal choice: is a man supposed to escape responsibility for destructive behavior by attributing everything to depression? The answer is no! Depression is never an excuse for inflicting pain and loss, breaking up families, […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Men and Depression, Reconnecting Tagged With: family, leaving, love, men, partner, responsibility, wife

Why Depressed Men Leave – 1

by John Folk-Williams 388 Comments

About a year ago, I wrote a series of posts about my experience with the fantasies of a better life that often prompt depressed men to leave their families. You can find the first of those stories here, here and here. Those brief pieces tell only a small part of a long and troubling story. […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Men and Depression, Reconnecting, Self-Esteem Tagged With: Anger, blame, family, grief, leaving, love, men, partner

The Longing to Leave – 2

by John Folk-Williams 78 Comments

The longing to leave one’s intimate partner brings out something that isn’t much discussed in descriptions of depression. It is the active face of the illness. We often focus on the passive symptoms, the inactivity, the isolation, sense of worthlessness, disruption of focused thought, lack of will to do anything. But paradoxically the inner loss […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Men and Depression Tagged With: fantasy, intimacy, leaving, love, marriage, partner

The Longing to Leave – 1

by John Folk-Williams 129 Comments

As I read through the web for conversations, questions, ideas about depression, I am struck by how many people who write to forums and blogs are desperately asking for help not for their own depression but for that of their spouses, partners, loved ones. So often, they report bewilderment. They feel stunned to find anger […]

Filed Under: Anger, Depressed Partners, Men and Depression Tagged With: fantasy, intimacy, leaving, love, marriage, partner, rage

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Living Depressed

Depression affects emotions, mental abilities, self-concept, behavior, relationships and the entire body. These core posts describe the full range of symptoms affecting daily life. Read More.

Choices in Healing

Hoping for recovery gives you a motive but not a method for getting there. This section has posts about therapies and healing methods you can work with either on your own or with professional guidance. Read more.

Living Well

If you've learned how to manage your depression, you'll want a fulfilling life rather than one dominated by fear that the illness might return. In this section, you'll find posts about how to work toward that goal. Read More

Relationships in Crisis

One of the hardest challenges of living with depression is holding onto your closest relationships. This section features posts on how to help a relationship survive. Read More.

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