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Depressed Men Behaving Badly Can Stop

by John Folk-Williams 40 Comments

Frowning Man in Dark Glasses

There’s a story on this site that never, unfortunately, gets old. It’s about depressed men breaking up their relationships as a misguided way to get well and find fulfillment. The psychotherapist, David Wexler, has good ideas about how men can change the experience of their closest relationships without leaving. He looks at the problems of […]

Filed Under: Men and Depression Tagged With: authenticity, feelings, marriage, men, partner

The Loss of Feeling in Depressed Partners

by John Folk-Williams 243 Comments

Disreality Illusion

Living with depressed partners can mean living without the feelings of love that are at the heart of every relationship. What is it about depression that could turn intimate companions into cold and blaming strangers? Readers ask about this over and over as their partners start blaming them for their own unhappiness and want out […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: feelings, loss, marriage, partner

How Depression Spreads

by John Folk-Williams 12 Comments

Separated man and woman watching sunset

Depression spreads through the closest relationships almost like a communicable disease. I learned the hard way that the illness didn’t happen to me alone. It happened to my children, my friends, and most of all to my wife. The pull of depression took me away from her and everyone else. I often felt I was […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Isolation Tagged With: family, feelings, intimacy, marriage, partner, relationships

How Couples Stay Together

by John Folk-Williams 31 Comments

How Couples Stay Together

Many couples manage to survive depression with the help of marital therapy, even though most relationship therapies aren’t designed to deal with the added problem of a mood disorder. I’ve been doing a little research and have found that most therapy and counseling for couples doesn’t have a good track record. In fact, research links […]

Filed Under: Relationship Tagged With: connecting, marriage, partner

Living with a Depressed Partner

by John Folk-Williams 16 Comments

Living with Depressed Partner

Several readers have asked about the best ways to respond to warning signs and symptoms of depression in their partners. The illness tends to separate two people in many ways, so the question always arises: What can I, the well partner, do when the symptoms start to push us apart? I think the first thing […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: boundaries, expectation, marriage, partners, treatment

Waking Up a Depressed Partner

by John Folk-Williams 47 Comments

dawn sky

I remember years ago talking with a friend about his recent divorce and remarriage and mentioning the stressful time my wife and I had been having at that time. He bluntly suggested: Well, why don’t you leave? I told him I wouldn’t do that since I thought the problems were as much on my side […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Psychotherapy Tagged With: awareness, connecting, marriage, partner, relational mindfulness

Does the Partner or Depression Cause the Breakup?

by John Folk-Williams 631 Comments

burning sunset in dark clouds

I’ve often described the way depression can break up close relationships, but does the illness explain everything? How responsible are depressed partners for the human cost that others pay because of what they do when they’re ill? One reader told me I’d confused her about this. First, I talked about depression taking over someone, as […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: Anger, blame, marriage, partner, responsibility

Psychological Abuse and Depression

by John Folk-Williams 37 Comments

There have been many times in the past when I’ve run into someone at work who could twist my words to suit his own purpose. If I’d challenged him in some way, he would launch a subtle verbal assault that built gradually to convince me he’d been the victim and I’d been the one who […]

Filed Under: Anger, Depressed Partners, Depression at Work Tagged With: marriage, partner, psychological abuse, trauma, victim

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Living Depressed

Depression affects emotions, mental abilities, self-concept, behavior, relationships and the entire body. These core posts describe the full range of symptoms affecting daily life. Read More.

Choices in Healing

Hoping for recovery gives you a motive but not a method for getting there. This section has posts about therapies and healing methods you can work with either on your own or with professional guidance. Read more.

Living Well

If you've learned how to manage your depression, you'll want a fulfilling life rather than one dominated by fear that the illness might return. In this section, you'll find posts about how to work toward that goal. Read More

Relationships in Crisis

One of the hardest challenges of living with depression is holding onto your closest relationships. This section features posts on how to help a relationship survive. Read More.

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