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You are here: Home / Archives for Depressed Partners

Depressed Partners

Reconnecting Depressed Partners Despite Fear and Shame

by John Folk-Williams 40 Comments

Tense Couple Talking

Men and women have the same need and longing to connect with each other, but they also have different ways of reacting to stress that can drive them apart. That makes reconnecting depressed partners difficult. Psychotherapist Patricia Love believes that these instinctive coping strategies can trigger the fear and shame that isolate partners from each […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: connection, fear, feelings, men, shame, women

The Loss of Feeling in Depressed Partners

by John Folk-Williams 243 Comments

Disreality Illusion

Living with depressed partners can mean living without the feelings of love that are at the heart of every relationship. What is it about depression that could turn intimate companions into cold and blaming strangers? Readers ask about this over and over as their partners start blaming them for their own unhappiness and want out […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: feelings, loss, marriage, partner

How Depression Spreads

by John Folk-Williams 12 Comments

Separated man and woman watching sunset

Depression spreads through the closest relationships almost like a communicable disease. I learned the hard way that the illness didn’t happen to me alone. It happened to my children, my friends, and most of all to my wife. The pull of depression took me away from her and everyone else. I often felt I was […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners, Isolation Tagged With: family, feelings, intimacy, marriage, partner, relationships

Can You Be a Therapist for Your Depressed Partner?

by John Folk-Williams 26 Comments

therapist for your depressed partner

A couple of readers have asked me to comment on whether it’s possible or advisable to try to act as a ‘therapist’ for your depressed partner. This idea came out of responses to one of the posts on relationships that has attracted the most attention on this blog: How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: connecting, intimacy, partner, support, therapist

If Your Partner’s Depression Returns

by John Folk-Williams 16 Comments

If your partner's depression returns

When a partner’s depression ends, a couple may feel happy disbelief as they emerge into the light again from a long darkness in the relationship. They’ve been desperate to understand how an intimate partner could possibly have grown silent, angry, emotionally never there, reluctant to touch or talk about anything. Then suddenly they’re back, feeling […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: empowerment, intimacy, partner, treatment

Relationships in Conflict: Action Against Depression

by John Folk-Williams 6 Comments

In recalling how couples I’ve encountered have dealt with conflict in their relationships, two moments come to mind. These were just glimpses, but they stand out as the extremes. They have inspired me to take early action against depression to prevent blaming my partner for my own internal pain. Once during a visit to a […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: Anger, connecting, depression, emotion

Relationships in Conflict: Depression’s Role

by John Folk-Williams 21 Comments

Depression is a natural enemy of close relationships. It helps build tension and conflict as a once-loving partner either withdraws into emotional isolation or turns angry and blaming. I suppose that’s inevitable since the loving support of a long-term relationship doesn’t fit the depressed view of an undeserving and damaged self. Nor does it fit […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: connecting, partner, psychology, responsibility

Living with a Depressed Partner

by John Folk-Williams 16 Comments

Living with Depressed Partner

Several readers have asked about the best ways to respond to warning signs and symptoms of depression in their partners. The illness tends to separate two people in many ways, so the question always arises: What can I, the well partner, do when the symptoms start to push us apart? I think the first thing […]

Filed Under: Depressed Partners Tagged With: boundaries, expectation, marriage, partners, treatment

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Living Depressed

Depression affects emotions, mental abilities, self-concept, behavior, relationships and the entire body. These core posts describe the full range of symptoms affecting daily life. Read More.

Choices in Healing

Hoping for recovery gives you a motive but not a method for getting there. This section has posts about therapies and healing methods you can work with either on your own or with professional guidance. Read more.

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If you've learned how to manage your depression, you'll want a fulfilling life rather than one dominated by fear that the illness might return. In this section, you'll find posts about how to work toward that goal. Read More

Relationships in Crisis

One of the hardest challenges of living with depression is holding onto your closest relationships. This section features posts on how to help a relationship survive. Read More.

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