How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed Partner Leaves?

It’s the worst scenario of life with depressed partners. They leave, shutting out a lot of love and support because of the illness. If you’ve been abandoned in this way, the first thing you’re likely to try is to get in touch. You need to say you still care and want to help in any way you can. They may refuse all contact or send an answer full of anger […] Read the rest»

Trying to Reach You

Trying to Find Hope After Your Partner Leaves – 2

I’ve made hope the centerpiece of this pair of posts because there’s such a powerful need for it after a depressed partner leaves. However unrealistic the hope may be, it’s necessary to take the place of pain and grief. The problem of a hope born of desperation is the risk of further shocks in the future as the hope is disappointed. But hope is hard to analyze. The need to […] Read the rest»

Flying Fragments

Trying to Find Hope After Your Partner Leaves – 1

There are many strains that depression imposes on relationships, and the most extreme can lead to a sudden break-up. Depressed partners seem to change overnight, turn on their loved ones and decide to leave. They may offer an explanation, but many refuse to communicate at all. The abandoned partner is desperate to do something but often has no idea what might be possible or what to hope for. I went […] Read the rest»

Tony Giordano’s Story of Depression and Recovery

Every person who has lived with depression has a unique story to tell, and I’ve read or listened to dozens of them since starting this blog. Rarely, though, have I found a narrative that so closely parallels my own experience as Tony Giordano’s does. It’s Not All In Your Head: Unearthing the Deep Roots of Depression has one passage after another that I could have written about my own struggle. […] Read the rest»

Doctors Brain Model

What Doctors Do When Depression is a Pain

I’ve had my share of problems with pain as well as with depression, but it never occurred to me to link the two until recently. Apparently, that’s true for most people with major depression, especially if physical pain is the first sign of the illness. They know they’re in pain, and depression is the last thing on their minds. A lot of primary care physicians also miss that link, and […] Read the rest»

Downcast Girl

Are You Leaving Anything Out When You Talk about Your Depression?

What are you referring to when you say, I’m depressed? Where do you draw the line between symptoms of depression and everything else that you consider to be just who you are? I ask because this word, “depression” seems to be losing its boundaries, if it ever had any. This isn’t an academic question. I had to get clear about the extent of the illness before I began to make […] Read the rest»