As many know it, forgiveness is a feeling that can’t be forced, one that often comes after a long inner struggle. I’ve lived with the need for many forms of forgiveness, and each has been important in my recovery from depression. I’ve felt the need to acknowledge hurt that I’ve caused and to ask for […]
Relationship
Revisiting: Removing Barriers to Closeness
This is a new version of an early post about how my wife and I were able to keep our relationship together despite the impact of depression. It discusses a therapeutic approach to emotional awareness that helps eliminate barriers to closeness by drawing on ideas about acceptance. More than 20 years ago I stopped believing […]
When Holding Hands Is Hard to Do
The first time our two oldest sons, at ages 3 and 4.5, went for a walk without their parents, I learned something about love and trust. My wife and I had decided to let them walk a short distance up the hill from our house to a play area. They had insisted this was no […]
How Couples Stay Together
Many couples manage to survive depression with the help of marital therapy, even though most relationship therapies aren’t designed to deal with the added problem of a mood disorder. I’ve been doing a little research and have found that most therapy and counseling for couples doesn’t have a good track record. In fact, research links […]
How Setting Boundaries Helped Me Heal
My getting depressed after a cancer operation almost ended our marriage. It was the blow that forced my wife to remind me of the boundaries I couldn’t afford to ignore. I had been in high spirits for the operation and right through the recovery period. My wife and I had been especially close during that […]
The Limits of Care-Giving for Depression
A family member’s care-giving for depression can shift from hope to frustration if the initial expectations are unrealistically high. The film Phoebe in Wonderland is about a young girl with a compulsive disorder and also about the mother who tries to cure her with love. The mother, brilliantly played by Felicity Huffman, blames herself as […]
11 Relationship Traps of Depression
Depression sets relationship traps for both partners. Everything can change quickly between two people, and it’s crucial to be able to spot these changes as soon as possible. Here are 11 signs of the illness that seem perfectly designed to undo the bonds of closeness. Humor, talking and doing things together, sharing special moments – […]
How to Work Together to Save Your Relationship from Depression
Relationships can break down quickly under the impact of depression. While many depressed partners decide to leave for good, I think it’s more common for two people to stay together and try to tough it out. If that’s the situation you’re in, you need more than hope to make a go of it and eventually […]
