Posted by JohnD
Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:38:00 GMT
Some Rights Reserved by AngelsWings at Flickr
Do you think it’s possible to be going through some phase of depression and have your emotions so locked away inside you that you don’t notice a thing? I’ve written about feeling anger and rage and never associating those feelings with depression, though they were tightly bound together. But here I’m thinking of an earlier time in my life – mostly in high school and college.
Through the teenage years, I sealed all feeling up tight. I guess that was an extension of childhood and being one of those kids teachers admired as so precocious, so adult. The other kids might rage, cry, scream where I would analyze and shake my head at their childish behavior. That distancing got more extreme as a teenager. I didn’t show anything but mildly friendly feeling to anyone. I did feel things deeply, at least fear, anxiety and anger – but these were no-shows externally. I was calmly cheerful most of the time. There was a mask in place, and the only symptom I thought I had were frequent migraines. But that was something inherited from my mother. I knew that because she explained it to me as she lay on the sofa sinking fast into her own depression. I would grow out of that, she said.
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Posted in What Depression Can Do, Growing Up with Depression, Men and Depression | Tags childhood, college, depression, energy, face, family, game, high school, judgment, mask, men, mother, shame, social anxiety, teenage, women | no comments
Posted by JohnD
Sat, 28 Jun 2008 22:08:00 GMT
Some Rights Reserved by |spoon| at Flickr
A few months ago, Therese Borchard of Beyond Blue was describing in one of her insightful videos the nature of her belief in Catholicism. She had been accused of being a “cafeteria Catholic,” picking and choosing which of the Church’s teachings she would accept. She emphasized that she read the Church Catechism as a bipolar person, and, as she was clarifying what she meant by that, started with: “Staying alive is my first priority.” That stopped me.
I’ve watched that video a couple of times since then, and, though I hear and respect her thoughtful discussion of Catholicism, that simple statement about staying alive is what cuts right through me. There is no getting away from that stark reality. The deepest depression turns on the neon light of suicide.
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Posted in What Depression Can Do, Surviving at Work, Fighting Depression | Tags depression, energy, Getting It Done When Youre Depressed, Julie Fast, Karl Menninger, living, Man Against Himself, obsession, optimism, suicide, surviving, Therese Borchard, transition, work | 1 comment
Posted by JohnD
Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:45:00 GMT
Some rights reserved by Derrick T at Flickr
If you have any interest at all in the relationship between the brain and your awareness of who you are, please go straight to this site. Read the excerpt from Jill Bolte Taylor’s book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey
. Then listen to the podcast of Terry Gross’s interview with the author on Fresh Air. I heard it this morning on the radio, and it’s provided more insight about the human power to heal than all the books and articles I’ve read to date.
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Posted in Connecting, Fighting Depression, Spirituality and Depression | Tags analytical thinking, associational thinking, brain, euphoria, healing, intuition, neuroscience, recovery, religion, spirituality | no comments
