Fighting Back – 2: Becoming an Activist

As I came to accept and believe that depression wasn't the result of my failings or weaknesses, but a major illness, a malignant condition, then I needed to deal with treatment more consciously. Up to that point, I had been through a lot of talking therapies and the newer medications, but while each approach helped for a while, nothing was effective for very long. I realized I had to become […] Read the rest»

Fighting Back – 1: Changing Belief about Depression

Depression is a strange thing. No one seems able to explain exactly what it is, yet there is no doubting the reality of its pain. I’ve had it with me since boyhood, though at that time, I was years away from even hearing the term, let alone getting treatment.  I grew up with it, not only experiencing my own moods, headaches and gradual isolation but also watching my mother succumb […] Read the rest»

What Depression Can Do – 2: Shame and Despair

Can’t (Rights Reserved) What's it like, the mixing of shame and despair? I am full of the sense that I have no future, there is no point to living. This is no emptiness or lack of feeling, lack of affect, as they say. It is the intense feeling of hitting bottom, overwhelmed with shame, worthlessness, convinced that this is the real me, the rotten thing beneath the surface, the monster […] Read the rest»

What Depression Can Do – 1: Disappearing

I can’t remember when this started happening. I’m walking about in everyday life reacting to nothing, feeling nothing, and it’s happening now when I’m on the job, running a meeting with 20 people around a table. This is not the self-control I developed as a kid, the bottling up of intense feeling out of a refusal to show it to anyone directly, unfiltered. No, this is empty shell time. Things […] Read the rest»