The words I hear when I’m depressed are limited, negative and decidedly lacking in color, but they can all too easily block my mind and feelings. I’m stuck on “I can’t” when I want to do something important to me. I’m either in a trance of inaction or caught in fear. Either way, I can’t […]
Reslience
The Love Hidden in Family Depression
I’ve written about emotional abuse in my boyhood and a family history of depression as big contributors to my own illness, but recently I’ve spent more time reconnecting with the things that went right all those years ago rather than dwelling only on what went wrong. The positive side is simply the love that has […]
A Never-Ending Family Story Has to End
My never-ending family story has always been a hard scene in which I am very young and small and terrified. I’m staring at my parents and brother locked in combat. There may be no action, it usually flashes at me in tableau form, but there is plenty of rage, fear and hurt. There is a […]
Depression Relapse and Resilience
Sometimes relapse into depression comes on like the weather, suddenly there, a change in the atmosphere you breathe and the temperature and moisture of the air around you. I’ve been feeling that lately and find myself in the midst of a cool and sad stillness that draws my attention in with an almost magnetic force. […]
Moving from Pain to Recovery
I have learned a lot about recovering from depression by studying methods for dealing with chronic pain. Now I have had a chance to turn this around. How can my skills in dealing with depression help me manage post-operative pain? Unfortunately, I have had more time than I had hoped to find out. As planned, […]
Limping Along with Chronic Pain
I want to thank the many of you who kindly offered support and sympathy in response to the recent newsletter about my problem with chronic pain. My case of lumbar spinal stenosis sometimes gives me an aching back but more commonly either weakens or sends a lot of sharp pain down my right leg. This […]
What I Carry into the New Year
I’ve been pausing at the beginning of this new year not to puzzle over resolutions but to keep myself from making any. As I mentioned a newsletter from some years back, I much prefer Rick Hanson’s approach to lightening up at the beginning of a year to the traditional preference for taking on new burdens. […]
Suicide and Depression
Even though suicide is the last thing I want to write or even think about, trying to understand its causes has been important in my recovery for two big reasons. One is learning about the differences between suicidal thinking, which many people with depression have, and the far less common factors that lead to actual […]
