Surviving at Work – 1: Recognizing the Symptoms

There are days that begin in difficult moods, and I start writing down what I’m going through to see if I can shake myself loose. Here’s what I wrote one morning last week. ……. I keep sinking away into a deep pool of stillness. Looking outside this morning, I see that the season’s first rain showers came before dawn. After so much dryness, the slick sheen of water seems strange. […] Read the rest»

Explanations – 1: Finding a Guide

I’d like to think of the search for the causes and treatments of depression as the tracking down of a killer, a good yarn like the fascinating medical mystery stories The New Yorker publishes from time to time. But we’re a long way from the end of such a story, and those tales can only be written in retrospect, after it’s clear the great discovery has been made, the mystery […] Read the rest»

Creativity – 1: Playing a Role

The word creativity has taken on a special meaning for me as the opposite of depression. It's the energy that opens whatever is original, forceful and effective in touching others and building relationships. It's the force in my life that connects and communicates. It's everything I cannot do in the midst of depression. Creativity is usually discussed in connection with the arts, and the idea gets overblown into talk of […] Read the rest»

Connecting – 2: The Simplest Things

These are scattered journal entries about reconnecting. ……. I saw my neighbor yesterday riding his four-wheeler around the corner lot, holding his toddler son to his chest. His two horses, a chestnut and a roan, pasture there, along with his three goats. They watch impassively, not at all frightened of the buzzing machine. The man is in his twenties, he has this mobile toy he loves, he holds his wonderful […] Read the rest»