Relationships in Conflict: Action Against Depression

In recalling how couples I’ve encountered have dealt with conflict in their relationships, two moments come to mind. These were just glimpses, but they stand out as the extremes. Once during a visit to a Native American community in the Pacific Northwest, I went to see an elder couple at their home. What they said has faded from memory, but how they said it was completely enchanting. Their words flowed […] Read the rest»

Relationships in Conflict: Depression’s Role

Depression is a natural enemy of close relationships. It helps build tension and conflict as a once-loving partner either withdraws into emotional isolation or turns angry and blaming. I suppose that’s inevitable since the loving support of a long-term relationship doesn’t fit the depressed view of an undeserving and damaged self. Nor does it fit the phase of depression that blames the partner for causing the inner pain. Either way, […] Read the rest»

What Comes After Recovery from Depression?

In response to a recent post, Clinically Clueless commented that, for her, recovery was a process, not a destination. She needed to keep aware of it, like those recovering from addiction, in order to catch the signs of relapse. I’ve thought of recovery in a similar way, certainly not a state you arrive at and then take for granted. These days I consider it more like a set of skills […] Read the rest»

Meditation and Treatment by Tweet

Some Rights Reserved by dicktay2000 at Flickr When deeply depressed, it’s not the fear of failure I carry but the fear that success is getting too close. When I’m living in the timeless Now, what happens to hope, to a future, to recovery? I think I’ll want them back if I land again in the tightly timed now. @soulful sepulcher said to me: Try this, you’re already recovered. Real recovery […] Read the rest»

Fantasies of a Perfect Future and Emotional Abuse

I’ve added two posts on emotional abusers at Health Central (here and here). In one I compared the behavior of a depressed man who acts abusively with that of a true emotional abuser. It occurred to me after writing the post that fantasies of a perfect future are important for both. As I’ve written in the Longing to Leave series, at one time fantasies of escape from my marriage seemed […] Read the rest»