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When deeply depressed, it’s not the fear of failure I carry but the fear that success is getting too close.
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When I’m living in the timeless Now, what happens to hope, to a future, to recovery? I think I’ll want them back if I land again in the tightly timed now.
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@soulful sepulcher said to me: Try this, you’re already recovered. Real recovery began as I considered that idea.
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Mind: Recovery takes a long time, many steps, hard work: Belief & Feeling: Take us too or you’ll never know when you’ve arrived.
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Thought, feeling, decision are instantaneous & preverbal. So what’s with all the mental words that slow down the doing?
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Who am I talking to when I talk to myself? Who’s in that nameless, invisible audience I need to convince?
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I’ve got a backseat driver jabbering his stop-action words of fear and undoing. He used to be the buzz but now he’s too boring to keep around.
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No room in this town for Depression and me so I’m chasing him out right now. Or is that him chasing me?
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Pema Chodron says the struggle to “meditate” gets nowhere. In the moment of hearing the gentle gong, your mind is still. That’s the moment of non-meditation.
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Steven Hayes re ACT: “To be willing & accepting means noticing you are the sky, not the clouds; the ocean, not the waves.”
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Steven Hayes again on ACT: “..willingness & acceptance are states of being that minds can never learn how to achieve.”
Beautiful
While not suffering from depression myself, I have associations with many people who are currently or have suffered depression in the past. The points you have listed are very informative and I am glad to have found them. Thanks for sharing.
Hi, Brenda –
Thank you for dropping by. I’ve just been looking at your website, and it’s inspiring to read your story and the motivation to start writing about what you and your husband have been through.
John
For me, I view recovery as a process that I need to be aware of or at least notice the signs or relapse. Just like those addicted to alcohol…they are in recovery. It isn’t a destination, but a process.
Hi, CC –
Good thought, but you know I’m starting to look for another way to describe all this. Recovery from depression is not a static destination – true, but calling it a process like that of recovering from addiction doesn’t feel quite right to me either. I wrote a post once about not wanting to think of myself as always in recovery but at some point getting beyond that to living without being preoccupied with the chance of depression returning. – You’ve got me thinking about this again, and I guess I’ll have to get a post up, if only to explain to myself what I mean. (I tend to make connections by writing.)
Thank you!
John