I’ve published a post over at Health Central about recovering from depression and the effect that’s had on my sense of time and the process of aging. The opening is below with a link to the full post.
Merely Me’s beautiful post on the losses of growing old ended on a sense of acceptance about leaving behind people and events long gone and moving through life stages with faith in the possibilities of the future. Those wonderful reflections made me realize how differently I used to experience the passing of years. For me, it was all anguish looking back and fear looking ahead. I was so much in the grip of depression, anger and anxiety, and most damaging of all, shame about who I was – that getting older only seemed to seal my fate.
I felt like a tiring runner, losing ground instead of gaining, trying to reach the goal of ending shame, self-hate and hopelessness. But the race I ran could never be won. Each time the finish line was in sight, I managed to push it farther and farther away. I couldn’t run fast enough to beat time and get there first.
You can read the full post here.