How Couples Stay Together

How Couples Stay Together

Many couples manage to survive depression with the help of marital therapy, even though most relationship therapies aren’t designed to deal with the added problem of a mood disorder. I’ve been doing a little research and have found that most therapy and counseling for couples doesn’t have a good track record. In fact, research links the use of traditional couples therapies more often to divorce than to preservation of marriages. […] Read the rest»

Michelangelo - Jeremiah

If Your Partner’s Depression Returns

When depression ends, a couple may blink in happy disbelief as they emerge into the light again from a long darkness in the relationship. They’ve been desperate to understand how an intimate partner could possibly have grown silent, angry, emotionally never there, reluctant to touch or talk about anything. Then suddenly they’re back, feeling great again. Life is restored. They knew such a wonderful relationship couldn’t possibly turn so bad […] Read the rest»

Healing Garden

The Healing Garden

  There is a healing garden at my house, thanks to my partner in life. She is an artist who works in many media. She fills the space around us, inside and outside our home, with beautiful things. Her gardens crowd with daily works-in-progress as she adds one more spot of life to a year-round creation. It unfolds in time as the season and color for one group of living […] Read the rest»

Andrea Mantegna Presentation at the Temple (Detail)

The Quiet Crisis of Chronic Depression

Chronic depression, also known as dysthymia, is supposed to be a milder but longer lasting form of the illness than the more episodic and severe variety known as major depressive disorder. Yet I have come to believe that no form of diagnosable depression should be called “mild.” My concern is not about the accuracy of these terms according to a standard measurement scale. I worry about the effect that words […] Read the rest»

Michelangelo fresco detail

Self-Starting When You Are Depressed

How can you activate yourself to get anything done when you’re depressed? Several readers have asked about this basic need to keep functioning when your mood, mind and body do not want to cooperate. It’s not only about work. It’s about pushing through all the resistance of depression to do your life – to be present in relationships, to cook a meal, to talk to a friend, and especially to […] Read the rest»

Brown's Great Pain Reliever

Moving from Pain to Recovery

I have learned a lot about recovering from depression by studying methods for dealing with chronic pain. Now I have had a chance to turn this around. How can my skills in dealing with depression help me manage post-operative pain? Unfortunately, I have had more time than I had hoped to find out. As planned, I had major surgery on July 5th for correcting problems caused by lumbar stenosis and […] Read the rest»

Neuron Pattern

Limping Along with Chronic Pain

I want to thank the many of you who kindly offered support and sympathy in response to the recent newsletter about my problem with chronic pain. My case of lumbar spinal stenosis sometimes gives me an aching back but more commonly either weakens or sends a lot of sharp pain down my right leg. This time it happens to be an especially disabling pain that just won’t go away. I […] Read the rest»

Disreality Illusion

The Loss of Feeling in Depressed Partners

Living with depressed partners can mean living without the feelings of love that are at the heart of every relationship. What is it about depression that could turn intimate companions into cold and blaming strangers? Readers ask about this over and over as their partners start blaming them for their own unhappiness and want out of the relationship. How could the person they most loved and trusted suddenly turn on […] Read the rest»