I’m pleased to announce that the first Storied Mind ebook is now available. Surviving Depression Together contains new versions of more than 20 posts on relationships published here over the past five years as well as completely new content and material previously published only in the newsletter. It has all been edited and organized into a smoothly flowing reading experience.
Here is an excerpt from the introduction:
“I’ve been married for over 40 years and spent most of that time in one phase or another of depression. My wife experienced much pain because of my behavior, and we came close to splitting up more than once. From reading dozens of stories online, including many sent to Storied Mind, I know that what we went through is not uncommon – though the outcome is often less happy than it has been for us.
The stories I read – mostly from women – tell of hurt, confusion, anger and desperation at the sudden transformation of their partners. They face strangers who flare up suddenly or withdraw in silence, who blame and threaten, who say they need to leave to find happiness. The stories of depressed partners sound a lot like mine. Little talk, lots of anger, emotional distance, dreams of escape – the list goes on. It varies with each person, but the result is the same. The relationship is threatened at its core.
If you’re going through this kind of agony, whether you’re the one suffering from depression or the partner facing the loss of the person you knew, I can say that it is possible to survive depression together. For us, it was by far the hardest and most demanding thing we had ever done, and there were many times when we were convinced there was no hope.
… This ebook describes what we went through, some of the methods that helped us deal with the illness and ideas about what to do if nothing works.
The theme is healing – of the depressed partner, of the partner trying to adapt to life changed by their loved one’s illness and of the relationship created between them. This is not a step-by-step manual but a record of personal struggles, of the hard work of getting well and, most important, of resilience and hope.”
If you should buy the book and find it helpful, I hope you’ll take a minute to spread the word online.
Let me know what you think and how I can improve the content and format for this series.
Hi John
I have been unable to purchase your book as I am a student living in South Africa, im not even sure how much i’d have to pay. anyway, my girlfriend and I have been hit by her depression over the past few months; the better part of this year actually. And she’s now at the point where she wants to take another break. this time for longer, saying she possibly may not return. I’ve read a few articles on helping a depressed loved one (I havent been perfect in my adherence to the guidelines) etc but most of them have some sort of therapy involved. this isnt an option for us right now as her father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer earlier this year. a month or 2 after her first bout with depression which was debilitating to say the least. she also has a 5-year old son who is pretty much the only thing keeping her going most days. she also spends most of her days at home taking care of her dad. she is also a student but only goes to campus once a week so she has no time or
money to go to therapy right now. I’ve tried to advise her that taking another break is not what we needed, that its not what she needed. she says usually she can bring herself back from depression (she’s had it for years,of course) but this time she cannot and she says shes not getting any motivation or any boost of energy from me. there are things i’v suggested she try, hobbies etc – the usual. which she doesnt do (expectedly) but she wont let me do anything with her neither. i’ve asked her why she wont let me go through the process and just do these sorts of things with her and she said she cant explain because I wouldn’t understand. I guess I’m just at my wits end right now and I want to know if theres anything I can do to fix things between us before she decides to end our Relationship and if she does end things, do I then move on like I usually would or do I just take it as her depression talking and simply hang around or something ? or if she decides to stay with me, how do I go about really helping her? because up until now, clearly there’s something I’m not doing. we’ve been friends for many years and became romantically involved 2 years ago but have only really been dating for a little over a year now. I love her with all my heart. I wouldn’t be here if I didnt. do you have any advice at all?
Hi, how can we purchase Surviving Depression Together in Australia, it seems only USA cards are accepted. Thank you.
Hey John, in going through a similar experience with my depressed husband. He left me 4 days ago for the second time in a month saying he’s no longer in love with me. I’m devastated, it seems out the blue for me. He’s turned so cold and distant towards me. …. it’s killing me. I don’t know if it’s the depression talking or his true feelings. He says He’s felt this way for almost a year, that he’s been living a lie but I never felt it or had a clue. He told me everyday that he loved me and we had an active, fulfilling sexlife… I’m so confused by him.
I wanted to read your book but I can’t seem to get it in Amazon UK, is there a radon why?
Please offer some light on this… all of this if you can. Thanx
Hi, Tracy –
The ebook is only available from the Storied Mind website. There are several links to the landing page for it – the file is a PDF, which opens in most browsers or Adobe Reader, iBooks or other readers.
John
Hi,
Without boring anyone with details of a 20 year long constant fight I have a question.
Is it normal to know there is this book which can hopefully help surviving depression together with my wife but that I am unsure if, at this late stage, I actually want this marriage to continue. Perhaps no one can answer me because it’s probably different from case to case but truthfully I am at the end of wanting to try and make this marriage work.
John, you have probably heard this a million times (or perhaps only a thousand, or a hundred, but numerous, nonetheless), but Surviving Depression Together is a godsend. It may or may not have saved any lives around here, but I feel the miracle that it is when I read the stories that could have been written by my husband with a few details changed. Nowhere else have I found a stronger reflection of what is happening in our life, and I will read your book daily. It is my new bible. Thank you so much for the effort of Storied Mind. You are performing a life-saving service.
Thanks John so much for sharing your story. It has helped my husband and I understand depression as we related to so much of your story it was scary, but in the most unbelieveable way. Your story was invaluable THANK YOU 🙂
Hi, Natalie –
Thanks for letting me know the ebook was helpful. I hope you’re both doing well.
John
thanks for the news emails..
Wendy Love commented on Storied Mind:
Congratulations! This book sounds wonderful. How hopeful for other couples to share in your stories. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Congratulations! This book sounds wonderful. How hopeful for other couples to share in your stories. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thank you, Wendy –
– and thanks for all that you share of your journey as well.
John
John, just wanted to tell you that I’ve already finished your book and it left me sorry that it was done, so I’m very much looking forward to your next one. You’ve written about depression in such a detailed, personal way that I’ve rarely seen. Thanks so much.
Thank you, Judy –
Wow, what more could a writer hope to hear! I’m hoping the next one will be a little easier to produce, now that I’ve learned the mechanics.
John
John, congratulations on this important accomplishment! I have no doubt that your book will bring comfort to a lot of people and I will most certainly recommend it to others. I’m going to order it right now!
Congratulations on this wonderful milestone. I’m sure you have helped, and will continue to help, so many people.
Thank you, Janet, for your many supportive comments. You are one who helps so many, and your comments are especially important to me.
John
Dear John: congratulations. So happy that you finally completed this great book, Will order soon and share with others. Thanks again for sharing your pain and your hope. Thank you for your courage and and strength. You have saved and helpedmany people but I am grateful God led me to find your website when it felt like I was going to die to save me in a very personal way. Reading your words slowly brought me out of the abyss just enough to start my recovery. I can’t wait to read the book. Peace and happiness. Most grateful.
Thank you, Jocelyn –
I’m so grateful and humbled that I could be of help to you when you were most in need.
All my best —
John
Hi John– I’ve been commenting since 2009 on your posts regarding relationships. It’s been instrumental in my understanding on what my partner is going through and the effect it had on our relationship. Storied Mind was a life saver. I just purchased your book and I’m so proud to own it and read it. Thank you and congratulations.
Thank you, Liz –
It’s folks like you who keep me going. I hope all is going well for you.
John