Storied Mind

My personal experience with Prozac was not a good one. On 40mg. of Prozac, uncharacteristic of me–I stood on the roof of my car in a downpour of rain, in the middle of my town, screaming “I’m going to kill myself”. I immediately started the drug taper, and it took 6 months of living hell to do it. The withdrawals were worse! One of my daughter’s notes when I ask her if she remembers the “prozac withdrawal days”, “Oh, yeah.” she says. What a nightmare, brain zaps, the whole thing.

I’ve been more successful the last year by decreasing and removing medications and focusing on the innerself and accepting me and my life as it is.

Stephany – OMG – What a horror! I remember hearing stories about suicide and prozac in the early years of its use – but that was usually dismissed by doctors as sensationalism – a few scattered stories the press played up. I certainly thought more about suicide – largely because I was so detached. It was the feeling that at some random moment I could just drive my car into a wall – almost on a whim. It amazes me how differently people handle these drugs. My body absorbs larger and larger doses and gets less and less of an effect – as if my shadow mind knew ahead of time that it would defeat anything I took to change it. Good to hear from you! I hope you’re OK — John

Hi John,
I’m kind of like you – I feel like I’ve taken almost all the ADs out there, of the more modern ones anyway. They work a bit, but I end up overwhelmed by side-effects. I seem to get all known side effects, which often start appearing after I’ve been taking the med for months. Prozac, Paxil, Serzone, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Celex, Cipralex, Wellbutrin…Wellbutrin is one of my favorites because it gave me much needed energy, but with agitation and suicidal thoughts. Cipralex I was on for two years but it made me sleep over 12 hours a day, which of course I thought was the depression, so I kept going with it much too long.

Anyhoo, I’ve tapered off everything at this point and am giving nutrition and supplements a go, following the book ‘Food for Mood’ by Julia Ross. Some of those amino acid supplements are like drugs – I’m feeling an effect right away. We’ll see, it’s early days yet.

I think you are lucky with a partner who responds to your mood changes and can challenge you to do better.

And thanks for your kind response to a previous comment I left, which I wasn’t sure was going to be helpful. So nice of you. Cheers

Thanks John. Got the title of the book wrong, so in case you do wish to look at it, http://www.amazon.ca/Mood-Cure-Julia-Ross/dp/0142003646/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236086885&sr=8-1
Yes, supplements wouldn’t likely be enough for a severe depression.
And further to medications, if they worked for me, I’d be first in line for them. It’s just that they don’t, so I’m not. At the moment.
Cheers

Thanks for the reference to the book. I’ll definitely follow up on that. And I agree about medications. At the moment I have something that works, but I’m not counting on them over the long term.

John

Jaliya – Beautifully and wisely put. It’s so encouraging to hear that you could come back from such a low point and be able to find such good support for these basic needs. That’s a fast turnaround from the hospital in January! Congratulations on taking charge and making great progress. We all know how hard that is.

My best to you — John

Hi John,
I have a long history of chronic clinical depression, anxiety, panic disored and I am an Agoraphobic.

All og these illnesses are also prevalent in many of my older family members.

I cannot take any anti-depressants at all. They have had me on just about everyone you can think of except Prozac.

They never tried Prozac wbecause of it’s link to some suicides. That has been my problem with any and all anti-depressants. I am allergic and 3 times experienced psychotic reactions. The outcome of the last try almost killed me as I was in a coma for 25 hours with a 50.50 chance of ever waking up.

Unfortunately for me that means that the medication that does work for me is a narcotic and I take quite a high dose. But, without I am frozen inside of my home and experience horrible panic attacks. Some so bad that I have been taken to the hospital and checked to make sure it was not a heart attack.

I am very grateful for one thing though. By the mercy of God I have been on this medication for 10 years and it works. And I have yet to build up a tolerance. I take the same amount now as when it was first prescribed to me.

I have tried living without medication and sought other remedies. But, the results were also all very ineffective.

Great post…more needs to be written and shared about these things.

Nice to meet you thanks for stopping by our blog. This is a wonderful and helpful site regrading depression. I can’t believe that all of us have to deal with some form during sometimes of our life. So I’ll be back..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Paige – Thank you – and congratulations on finding the right combination of meds. I know how long that can take and how frustrating it is to have to go through so many before the right one comes along – if you’re lucky.

Thank you for coming by.

John

Dear John,
That’s a terrific description of what medication can do. Having taken 26 different medications, in different combinations, and dosages, it’s been a true nightmare.

While the side effects defy description, in retrospect, what was equally bad were the feelings and behavioral patterns you describe.

For so many of the years I was behaving in similar ways, I didn’t realize it because the euphoria of the medication disguised it. And I couldn’t afford to see a therapist because the cost of insurance and medication and psychiatric visits was wreaking havoc with our income.

In retrospect, I wish I had known how erratic my behavior had become, and how isolated I was, and the effect that had on my family. At the time, I was just trying to survive.

These days I have great empathy for people who are waiting for the next drug to work, but not realizing that medication–even when it’s effective–is only a small part of the process.

Susan

You have to love medication at least when it is working. I tend to be similar to you John as meds do work for a short period then they basically become useless. I have not found a single drug yet that is able to take care of all my mental quirks. Worst drug so far is Paxil as it came very close to sending me completely over the edge and took about two months on a psych ward to start seeing straight again. The combo of Effexor, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Remeron, Zyprexa and Temazapam worked for about six months til I realized the massive weight gain so Zyprexa had to go and soon after the combo lost its power. I have figured out that medication will probably always be in my life and I have come to terms with it but now it is finding the combination that will work long term. Take care

You sound like you are making real headway and seem positive to me, so I am really happy to sense that. I of course tried different medications, but in my case only seemed to make things worse. Again, we are all different. I consider myself incredibly fortunate and extremely lucky to be sane without medications as I know so many people who cannot. The past two weeks I felt on the verge of a severe depression and just yesterday . . . it passed. I wish I knew why. I almost wrote a sorrowful post about how bad I felt, but chose not to. And I am so glad I didn’t. It only seems to make me wallow in it. I took a week of hardly any writing and stayed busy doing yard work. I thank God. For the first time in 20 years when a depression started to grasp hold, I avoided it. I feel like a bomb landed near but missed me.

Hi John,

Let’s see, I’ve been on so many and I’m only 35! Unfortunately due to the numerous meds-my memory fades me on many of them. The following are what I do remember, in order taken:

Prozac-one of the worst. Just imagine me lying on my parents tiled bathroom floor, thinking I was on fire and trying to put the fire out.

Paxil-I just remember it being bad. Same with Lexapro and a few others.

Wellbutrin-allergic reaction. I woke up in the middle of the night with a rash covering my body-after a trip to the hospital they ruled everything out except Wellbutrin. It’s the one medication I’m allergic too.

Seroquel-by far the WORST. I gained 40 pounds in 2 months. constant zombie state. slurred speech. slept all of the time (on a low dosage!) I weaned myself off the med and then years later, two different psychiatrists tried to prescribe it after I told them that diabetes runs in my family (my maternal grandmother passed away due to complications from diabetes and my father is diabetic.) GO FIGURE.

Lamictal-this one worked the best, unfortunately I hit that very familiar plateau less than 2 years in. The only complaint-severe headaches that would oddly last from 3pm-11pm everyday and body aches. But, I received acupuncture to nip those side effects. I wasn’t too concerned, esp. after my Seroquel experience!

Celexa and Abilify in combination- bad. bad. bad. not sure which one caused it but I had severe insomnia. I was lucky to sleep 3-4 hours a night.

Now, I am not on anything except Xanax which I plan to wean off soon and return to Eastern Medicine. Nice Post-you, I especially liked this part: “We must have the wrong shells – let’s get a new set and start over! OK – this time, you pick.”

I will end this novel by saying I believe all of these medications have caused severe memory loss. My 86 year old grandmother’s memory is sharper than mine! As the days/weeks/months go on, my memory gets worse. And I have found myself making more and more typos. That might be from the the Xanax.

my best to you!

Hi John,

I’m glad to hear the emphasis that SSRI’s are very personal in their actions. Everyone gets different mileage. I’ve taken about every MAOI, then later the SSRI’s. I have to agree that Effexor is pretty nasty. My Doc had me taking 350mg a day. I got a different Doc after a month of sitting and drooling.
Now I am very fortunate to have as a Doc one of the best psychiatric Docs on the west coast. He writes books on Psych drugs. As soon as he had thoroughly screened me, he put me on 40mg Prozac (my first time on it). Over the course of the next 6 weeks I went the gamut of unusual effects- panic, fear, agitation, suicide thoughts, anxiety. Everytime I spoke with him he would just smile and say- “be patient”. Then one day I fely pretty good and stopped in to tell him that. He said- “finally” and dropped my dose to 20mg a day. Now, 3 years later, I still take it every morning at 20mg. I also take amytriptaline at night.
The cool part is that I’m still “me”. I still get upset or ‘down’ or I’ll get agitated. The big difference is that I can now ‘see’ it happening and know what to do. That came from terrific therapy sessions in groups. I am also a member of DRA, a 12 step program for dual diagnosed folks. Very “psych med” friendly bunch.

The point I am hoping to make is that some Docs do understand that an SSRI may take you for a ride before it settles down and works. No need to panic if it seems to be taking you a long time to adjust. My Doc told me that most folks don’t settle-in to a psych drug for at least 2 months. He’s very outspoken that SSRI’s are being prescibed far too often and in way too high doses. He wishes ‘family’ and GP Docs would study it all a bit more and not just go by the neat drug company brochure.

Peace
Rick

Rick -

I’m glad to hear that the therapy and prozac have been so helpful. I have to say, though, that starting at 40 mgs with those extreme side effects sounds terrible. Most psychiatrists prescribe powerful drugs at low doses to start with so the body can adjust. If it works at 20mg you did not need to go through that initial phase. It’s great you settled in. If that practice has now become common it would explain a lot of the reactions to prozac that I’ve been hearing on this and other blogs.

Sorry to be presumptuous in saying that, but it really shocks me.

All my best — John

John…thanks for the good luck but after 10 years of the same effect it ain’t gonna happen…so I take “holidays’ for two days and things seem to work out…

Hi all,

I actually arrive at this website from a different perspective. I have recently suffered a tragedy that I am convinced was cause by Prozac that was prescribed without proper background information. I had a loving, healthy committed, and honest relationship for 12 years. After the birth of our daughter, my wife’s normal anxiety was heightened. It lead to a sometimes cold edgy house. She recognized it and went to a consoler for help. A doctor, who I have still never met, prescribed her 20 mg Prozac. No way the doctor knew that she was a social alcoholic. (I turned her even more happy and loving.) Nor did they know that she has certain personality traits of bipolar. They didn’t ask me, so how could they.

After a very blissful period, my wife’s personality completely changed. Every value she once held dear is no longer important. In 12 years I had never once been suspicious of my wife. I found a text message that was dangerous flirting for a married woman. She told me “I never loved you” at the beginning of the argument, and it spiraled from there. This lead to a drunken violent attack right in front of the police. After the emotional split and a quick divorce filing I found in her email that this middle class catholic school educated great mother had taken on this persona of “ghetto girl”. The doctors don’t believe you because “she is happy” and “it must be something she wanted to do for a long time.” Her family thinks that she is just going through a “rough time” because of the divorce”. I thought I was going crazy until I found my story repeated over and over again on this website.

http://www.topix.com/forum/drug/effexor/TQ4I2UR28DFD3N759

Has anybody here felt the loss of love for a spouse, or had it lead to erratic and damaging behavior?

This statement, “I had a long way to go before I could put myself at the center of my treatment instead of medication – or therapy, for that matter, or anything I expected to be the cause of improvement.” applies to many other people that have suffered this kind of problem. You have a very interesting story with unique insights.